“I’m a plus-sized mom and I wore the swimsuit. No, I didn’t just wear that bad boy, I rocked that spandex leotard-like one piece like it was my J-O-B!
Y’all, as I walked to the water park in our resort, my anxiety was on 10. I was baking from the Orlando sun in the black yoga pants that covered my swimsuit and the shame of acquired weight from 13 years of a loving relationship, two kids, and my love of macaroni and cheese.
I was praying the length of the walk to the beach chairs something like, ‘Lord, help me to have peace about this body so I can confidently enjoy my time with my family and these precious kids you gave me. Help me to be a model of self-respect and confidence in the body you gave me. Also, if you could give extra strength to the chair I’ll choose, that’d be an added bonus!’
Friends, I did it and I did it with pride.
Sisters, as I shed my cover-up and long cotton yoga pants–both black–a symbol of the shield I’d been carrying around myself for something like 10 or more years, I felt like a different woman, wife, and mom.
Mamas, what we tell our children, they might absorb a portion; but what we SHOW them, that is sure to stick.
As I sit back in my thankfully sturdy metal beach chair admiring my sleeping 2-year-old daughter sprawled across the width of by pasty white thighs that haven’t seen direct sunlight since sometime in the late 90s, I am filled with pride.
Sweet sleeping baby girl, may you know that many times I will fall short of being the mama I pray to be for you and your brother, but today is not one of those days. I didn’t filter the photo, nor did I cover my suit with board shorts or an oversized t-shirt when I cannonballed my 2XL hind end into the 4-foot deep.
And you know what? My son will always have the memory of our cannonball contest…not of my measurements or the way the fat on my back rolls slightly over the strap on my swimsuit like I am smuggling a pack of sausages to snack on later.
Mamas, no matter your size, your self-esteem issues, or your fears, don’t just wear that suit, girl ROCK IT!
I marched my happy 300+ pound frame around that pool like there were paparazzi. And I will continue to smile and march because my kids deserve a mama who loves the body that made them, carried them, powerfully brought them into this world; the one that cares for their boo-boos and carries them to bed when they fall asleep poolside.
Mamas, may we be proud, care for ourselves, and be kind to each other the way each of us and our kids after us deserve.”
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