“Before I became a mother, I had already labeled myself as not enough.
I couldn’t get pregnant on my own. I was infertile. My body was failing me. I wasn’t enough.
When the triplets were born I almost died. I didn’t get to meet them for an entire day. I remember feeling like I wasn’t enough, like I failed them because my first moments with them were through FaceTime.
And then 3 months into their lives I made the decision to stop breastfeeding. I wasn’t enough then either.
It wasn’t long until GERD kicked in. Not only did I feel incredibly helpless, but I felt inadequate as a mother. I had no idea how what I was doing and felt exhausted all the time. I wasn’t enough.
My body has also changed dramatically since I grew three humans at one time. Sometimes I don’t even feel comfortable in my own skin; the wrinkles, the sag. I’ve even wondered, ‘Is my husband attracted to me anymore?’ I am not enough.
There was also the day my doctor diagnosed me with postpartum depression and anxiety and prescribed me medication to help me function day to day. That was a day I will never forget, a day when I truly felt like I wasn’t enough.
My daughter almost drowned this summer. I failed her. I didn’t keep her safe. I wasn’t enough then either.
If only I could have seen that I have always been enough, and I will always be enough.
I needed help to get pregnant. It doesn’t make me a failure. I am enough.
On the day I almost died delivering my babies, I brought 3 lives into this world. I am enough.
On the day I chose to stop breastfeeding, I chose to feed my babies. I am enough.
I felt helpless all those months my babies suffered with GERD, but I did everything I could to help them. I am enough.
On the day I was diagnosed with PPD and anxiety, I made a choice to change, to be healthy for my family, to be a better me. I am enough.
My body is different now. I brought life into this world, and that is so beautiful. There is a newfound confidence and I have to cling to that. I am enough.
My daughter almost drowned this summer, but she survived because I saved her. I am enough.
It is very easy to twist our perspective as a mother and see all our faults, but Mama, change what you see because I guarantee you are enough too. In our lifetime we are given many experiences that are sometimes easier to look at and say, ‘I am not enough,’ but we need to change our perspective. I am enough. You are enough. We are enough!”
by Desiree Fortin of California. You can follow her journey as a mom of triplets on Instagram.
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