This isn’t living. I feel I am ready to go with as much choice and dignity as I can, and hope it’s swift.
“This isn’t living.
I feel I am ready to go with as much choice and dignity as I can, and hope it’s swift.”
Four months ago Amy Redhead was a beautiful 28 year-old woman with her whole life ahead of her.
(The picture of her in the gym was taken last September)
But then she started to notice that she was having stomach pain.
Last October she went to the doctor and was diagnosed with bowel cancer.
And it's now spread to 70% of her body.
Doctors have told her she may only have days left to live.
Amy has decided to stop all medication.
She says it’s not worth it.
She’s already planned her own funeral.
And a memory box for her family.
This is what she posted a few days ago:
I really wanted to do a final video, but mentally I no longer have the strength.
About a week ago the pain in my abdomen became so bad I couldn’t stand up or walk properly.
I can’t get comfortable, and I am now having to rely on morphine around the clock.
This is no longer about fighting.
This isn’t living.
This is existing.
It is joyless.
It has warped the person I used to be.
I’ve become snappy, intolerant, aggressive.
I struggle to speak to or see anyone.
I haven’t left my bed in nearly 48 hours and have made the decision to stop any medication aside from pain relief to speed things up.
I have been blessed to enjoy some wonderful celebrations these past 4 months, but now I feel I am ready to go with as much choice and dignity as I can, and hope it’s swift.
No mother should have to hear her daughter wish she was dead or see her in unimaginable pain every day.
I want to end the suffering for her and my sister as much as myself.
I get comfort knowing I’ve inspired a few people (apparently!) and hopefully reached out to a few more.
The support needed now lies with my family which I am confident they will receive. I wish nothing but health and happiness to every single one of you!
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