I loathe this month. Six years ago yesterday, Gabriel was diagnosed with Weavers Syndrome. Three years ago today, Gabriel was diagnosed with Stage 4 HR Nueroblastoma. Last year, and one day ago Gabriel was being rushed into emergency brain surgery. And this year in October, we found out Gabriel has relapsed.
My birthday is October 18th, just a week away. But every year during this month, all I feel is dread. I feel sick, because it’s almost as if I know something bad is going to happen every October. PTSD is a very real thing. And I struggle daily with it. I fight back anxiety. The urge to run and hide. Increased blood pressure. Heart rate through the roof. I cry and cry and cry. It’s like this month literally sucks the life out of me.
Today we know nothing more then we knew when they called us with Gabriel’s bone marrow biopsy results. We don’t know if our son will make it to next October. We don’t know if he’ll make it to Christmas. I’m so tired of being scared. Of hurting. Of watching my poor innocent son fight just to live. I want him to feel normal. I want him to be able to attend school every day. Play outside. Make friends and have a million birthdays. It just isn’t fair.
As of now, I’ve found a few clinical trials that might work for Gabe. I’ve found an integrative medicine hospital in Tempe Az. And I’ve found a mass amount of specialists who are ready to help at a moments notice. But right now it just isn’t enough. There is no definitive treatment plan for my baby. My heart hurts. Bad.
A friend of ours also found out her son relapsed and is making some hard decisions herself. Gabriel and her son went through their transplants at the same time. My heart is broken for them. Please keep them in your prayers also.
I just wanted to update you all. Let you know where we were and where we’re hoping to go.
We have asked that Gabriel’s Make a Wish trip be put on an emergency basis situation. Hoping to get him to Disney World as soon as possible.
Our family is drowning financially. We don’t have the money to make our bills, let alone save enough to get Gabriel where he may need to go in the future. It’s a lose lose situation at the moment. My husband is on unemployment and was actively seeking for a new job. But now he’s terrified to go back to work and miss even an hour of the time we have left with our baby. I don’t know how families handle this. But I can tell you, that I am positively not doing it right. I don’t know what to do. How to fix this. Where to begin. Sometimes I can’t see past my own sadness. Life is hard. But I will continue to update. And continue to keep all of our amazing prayer warriors in the loop.
Thank you for listening to my ramble. Thank you for loving my son. Thank you for supporting us in this very hard time. We love you all.

Credits: Gabriel's Giant Journey


Submitted by: Cassie Wilson