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This Is Absolute Gorgeous
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My secondborn baby,
I have to tell you the truth.
One day you’ll probably ask me
About why everything wasn’t
Bright, shiny and
New
For you.

And when you ask me,
I will tell you the truth;
The truth about
The hand-me-downs,
The caffeine and soft cheese
During pregnancy,
My lack of a birth plan,
And weekly bump photos;
The fact that I didn’t wait
With bated breath
For every single milestone.
The difficult truths
Like the fact that
You had to cry more
Wait more
Share more.
The fact that I,
Your mama,
Was often not the best version of myself.

But dear, sweet, secondborn,
Let me also tell you this.
The truth is,
Before you were born,
I doubted the infinity of love
And yet
The moment they placed you in my arms,
Cocooned in blankets,
With your button nose and scrunched up lips,
Eyes firmly shut and so new to this world,
It’s as if
I grew
A whole new heart
Just for you.

The truth is,
Darling girl,
It was you who taught me
To really believe
That despite the guilt, the worry,
The urgent need to be everything to everyone,
That in fact, I am enough, as I am.
Yes, I was already someone’s mother
When you came into my life
But you made me
A better one.

And so, the truth is,
Dear secondborn,
When one day you start to wonder why
Things were different when you came along
Know this, my love:
I never knew
How much my heart could hold,
Until I held you;
How you weren’t an addition,
But a piece that was missing;
And how now that a year has passed,
After everything we’ve been through,
The love and joy
You have brought
Makes me feel
Bright,
Shiny
And new
Every day.

Written by Rasha Rushdy
Credits: The Tuna Chronicles • by Rasha Rushdy
1,421 views Jul 20, 2017
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