Let me first say, I am NOT a blogger! But the Lord has laid it on my heart to record this beautiful journey we are going thru as a family. Almost 7 years ago after having a traumatic experience with having Mattie, we knew my doctors would be giving us the devastating news at the age of 25 that we should not have ANY more children. I was devastated! Now, God knows the desires of my heart and knew I was so happy with having our sweet daughter Matalynn, but I have struggled the past 5 years with knowing our family is not complete. A short clip of the JOURNEY

- The last several years have been a nightmare for my family and I have been in and out of the hospital 30+ times since the transplant in 2010 (my kidney has endured every hit) with issues but in December of 2014 we all came to the agreement that I would undergo another surgery in hopes on this being the cure. I have learned so much during this journey to trust God and my faith has never been so strong and I'll continue to cling to his promise that I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the LORD has done. Psalm 118:17. It's now been 4 weeks that I haven't had treatment or been in the hospital!

"So, your doing great, let's have a BABY! "

Several years ago my sweet best friend, Angela Jackson found out we weren't going to be able to have any more children and although she knew we absolutely adored Matalynn she knew something was missing in my heart.

"Hey, I'll have your baby for you."

Let's face it, who says that?!? Let me share who Angela Jackson is. We met years ago in a ugly circumstance at our job place. We connected instantly and our relationship grew tighter and closer as time went by. She walked EVERYTHING out with me, her family and my family went thru terrible distressingly bad seasons together but we all only came out stronger. She would take me to my Doctors appointments, stay with me in the hospital, cried with me, and pushed me in my weakest moments. But her biggest selfless act towards me was the day she told me she'd have my baby... After the last hospital stay in my deepest depression days, (horrible days) she called and said let's make an appointment to see the fertility doctor and get this show on the road! I told her I wasn't feeling up to it, and she continued with, "get up let's go girl"! (My annoying much needed cheerleader) So I did.. A quick word on her sweet husband Van and their 3 boys, Braydon, Bryson, Kendrick: INCREDIBLE. Matt and I love their family, we are all one big family. I never know who's more excited, Van, Angie, Myself or Matt! I absolutely adore the way Van and Angie show their excitement with this journey, I have never met a couple with such large hearts. Which has made this journey, EVEN BETTER!

Although I can not carry our son myself, I am producing healthy viable eggs that could be fertilized with my husband's sperm and placed in a gestational surrogate who would carry the baby to term.

We understand that surrogacy isn't for everyone and many do not understand. However, we had a lot of judgment and criticism thrown our way. Bothered us, lost a lot of friends, but we kept going. Was it worth it? Yes! I just wish people wouldn't be so ugly and JUDGEMENTAL when they wouldn't be able to walk in my shoes for one day..

I have sever memory lost (at the age of 32) due to my illness and I have a wonderful husband who is incredibly supportive and is my memory when I can't think. He's mom and dad when I can't be mom. My daughter is understanding when I can't get out of bed and steps up and takes care of tytus when I can't! She's perfection. I may have this disease and it's one UGLY disease but I push through and I hope that I can encourage other young moms to keep going and not let your illness run your life.